Why Bother?

26 Feb


Cg made a comment on a recent post that got me thinking

Cg said…

You raise an interesting point about talking about Ayla. I am musing here… is the idea of a blog simply to keep her name out there so people don’t forget and keep justice in their minds? Is it to get people talking so some tidbit of useful information might come out? It’s been said by several people at different times that no blog will resolve the case… generally I agree with that tho I don’t think it’s an absolute. When A4A first started, I thought the point was to seek answers. So I am now wondering after a couple of years of blogs coming and going, where are we really?

As she said, she was only musing, but it caused me to think about what we’re doing here.  I’ve been getting discouraged.  Does any of it matter?  Why bother?  Are we doing any good?

Mountain Mama said to me in an email, and repeated on the blog, that maybe we should have done a blog about rocks.  I think she was only half kidding. Running a blog is stressful in and of itself.  Running a blog about a missing and, according to MSP, presumed deceased child is all the more stressful and emotional.

Ayla has been missing for over two years now. MSP gives scant updates on the status of her case.  Blogs have come and gone that were devoted to discussing Ayla. Even United for Ayla, which started as the family run Answers for Ayla blog until it merged with the old Justice for Ayla blog, has had the curtain come down and the lights turned off. People grow weary of the fighting, the blog wars and they move on.  More people forget.

Mountain Mama gave some figures about views on the blog…

We have days where we only have 500 views from as little as 80 individual viewers but most days we have 600 or more with as many as 150 individual viewers. They don’t all comment but at least they haven’t forgotten Ayla.

When you think of it in the grand scheme of things, even just comparing how many view the blog to the population in Maine never mind the whole country, that’s miniscule.  But then I remember that it’s been two years.  A lot of people don’t comment or check in anymore unless there’s a development. In most cases where there is a child that’s missing, two years seems to be that magic mark when the blogs shut down, the Facebook pages get deactivated and all goes silent.  The child is forgotten by all but their family.  The fact that people are still checking in after all this time encourages me.  Even 80 individual views a day is good for a small blog like this, 150 is phenomenal.

So, I’ll carry on. 

Why am I doing this

I think Friends for Ayla serves several purposes.

First and foremost, Ayla cannot be forgotten. I don’t want her to fade into oblivion like Aliayah Lunsford, the Skelton Brothers, Gabriel Johnson. I don’t want to hear people ask “Oh, is she still missing?”  I want them to know she is and to keep Ayla in their thoughts.

The second purpose is to give people a place to talk.  Some people like mysteries and trying to solve them and that’s why they follow along.  We as humans don’t like loose ends and the unknown. If posters are attracted to Ayla’s case because it’s a mystery they want to solve, so be it. I don’t care why they’re here, just that they are and that they’re talking about Ayla. Some live in Maine and it has hit close to home. They follow because it’s more personal to them.  They want to know what happened right in their backyard and that the case will be solved and someone prosecuted.  Some follow because they can relate to either Justin or Trista on some level. Some follow because they have had their own personal loss and can relate to the loss of a child. There are as many reasons as there are followers as to why they’ve chosen to follow Ayla’s case. If we don’t give them a place to talk it out, then what?  More voices go silent, more forget and move on.

The third purpose is to seek answers, to seek the truth.  What happened to Ayla? No blog that I’m aware of has ever been instrumental in breaking a case. There have been blogs however that have gotten people involved in a case to talk. There was a blog in the early days of the Lisa Irwin case that got several insiders to comment.  At this late date I don’t think that will happen here, although we do see comments on occasion from people that know one or the other of the families. Even though a blog isn’t going to solve a case I think it’s important to keep asking the questions, keep seeking the truth. There have been tips turned into administrators that were in turn handed over to MSP. Did they help?  We have no way of knowing yet.

Cg said “So I am now wondering after a couple of years of blogs coming and going, where are we really?”

My answer – I don’t know where we are.  This has been going on for over two years. I get discouraged, I get aggravated, I get upset. But I’m not going to stop.  I think it’s important to remember Ayla, to keep her name out there; to give the people still interested a place to talk, to seek answers, to seek the truth. 

Even if I’m the last one standing, I won’t quit on Ayla Bell Reynolds.  She deserves her truth to be told, her life to be remembered, justice to be served.

 Ayla Bell (1)



Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Uncategorized


50 responses to “Why Bother?

  1. mountain mama

    February 26, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Thank you Dee for this post. Perfect timing.

  2. CG

    February 26, 2014 at 10:40 am

    It’s possible that Val Hall’s old Hinky Meter blog was responsible for uncovering important information in the Jane Bashara case.

    • mountain mama

      February 26, 2014 at 10:46 am

      I remember that CG. I wish the Hinky Meter hadn’t shut down.

      • CG

        February 26, 2014 at 10:49 am

        Me too, I loved that blog.

    • Dee

      February 26, 2014 at 10:57 am

      The Hinky Meter was a great blog, I read there every day until Val shut it down. She was one smart cookie. She was great at getting insiders to talk, they all trusted her and she never let them down. She was great at digging up relevant information on subjects. Jane’s family spoke to her, neighbors of Bob and Jane told her what they knew and what they suspected and she took that info and nailed him. I wish I had the know how and resources to do her kind of research. .I really miss that blog and Val.

  3. katieh33

    February 26, 2014 at 11:07 am

    Dee, great post. I, too, am always amazed at the numbers of visitors and posters at J4A. McKee and I were personally just discussing the traffic there the other day. I’m thankful that people are still looking, searching for answers.

    • Dee

      February 26, 2014 at 11:32 am

      Hi Katie. Thank you. I’m thankful too that there are people who, after 2 years, are still willing to stick it out.

  4. Em

    February 26, 2014 at 11:43 am

    It’s so easy to get discouraged… with the lack of movement, or the constant bickering of those with opposing ideas & opinions, or just knowing that Ayla is out there somewhere and someone knows the truth.

    It doesn’t matter what you or I think, assume, or surmise; Ayla needs us to keep her name and face out there. If there is even the tiniest possibility that she is alive, we are doing an injustice to her if we don’t look for a living Ayla no matter what.

    That is what keeps me going and praying and searching every child’s face. I may get discouraged, but I will never give up.

  5. mountain mama

    February 26, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    OT I have added a page for LE statements. There has been a lot of confusion and misunderstanding as far as what LE has said. As time allows I hope to add different categories of statements by LE to help us find the quotes without the timely research involved. If anyone would like to help with a category we appreciate all the help we can get. Any suggestions for specific categories are welcome.

    • pennyauntie

      February 26, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      Perhaps it might be helpful to peruse all LE statements concerning Trista who continues to be the no, 1 suspect with some DiPietro supporters, including Phoebe DiPietro. Derek Tudelo has also apparently been of this same mindset.

      • mountain mama

        February 26, 2014 at 5:32 pm

        Good idea Penny. It really helps to see a clearer picture if the statements are all presented together in chronological order.

      • Dee

        February 26, 2014 at 6:27 pm

        That’s something I was working on Penny. But mine was more a comparison of LE statements about the DiPietro’s and their statements about Trista. I haven’t had time to finish it yet though.

    • Chicky

      February 26, 2014 at 6:55 pm

      Thank you Mama.

  6. Laurie Bingham

    February 26, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    It is discouraging when it seems like people are forgetting Ayla. At one point Ayla’s Angel page reached 130K a week when Ayla was in the news but now she is down to 35K week. If it was not for Ayla’s blogs and facebook pages she would be forgot by now. She deserves as many people as we can give her talking, sharing and reminding people Ayla is still missing. Thank you for all of your devotion and hard work for Ayla Mountain Mama, Dee and Lee as well as everyone else who works on Ayla’s blogs and Facebook pages. Hoping that Ayla’s truth and justice are on the way.

    • Dee

      February 26, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      Thank you for all you do to keep Ayla on people’s minds Laurie.
      “Hoping that Ayla’s truth and justice are on the way.” – I second that!

    • mountain mama

      February 26, 2014 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you Laurie for the time, effort and heart you put into keeping Ayla’s name and face out there. We hope for truth and justice for Ayla too. What is so sad is that hope is fading that she will be found and brought home. Who would’ve thought after over two years, Ayla would still be lost out there somewhere? 😦

  7. Anonymous

    February 26, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    I come here every day hoping she has been found. I think the articles you write each day are awesome. I don’t post often because someone usually said what I would have. I believe the DiPietro’s are responsible for what happened to Ayla. I’m still hoping someone will convince me that I’m wrong because I hate the thought that her own family could kill her.

    • mountain mama

      February 26, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      Thank you for commenting anon. Comment as often as you want, even if you share the same thought or opinion as others. I feel the same way you do, I want to be wrong.

  8. mountain mama

    February 26, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    We need to come up with an idea for an awareness event for Ayla.

    • Chicky

      February 26, 2014 at 7:04 pm

      I had mentioned some time ago about tucking a small , like double the size of a business card, into Christmas cards that people send out . It never happened but this could be done by anyone from home and sent in with any holiday card you may send out, Christmas, birthdays etc, even tuck one in bill payments you send out. If you have a printer at home or have a friend print them. Maybe someone could come up with a photo/ info that we can go by or make your own. Just a little idea.

  9. Karen

    February 26, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    You guys are all awesome for the work you do for Ayla! I think refusing to just let people forget about her is the best thing you could do for Ayla at this point.
    Her birthday is coming up. Is there something planned for that?

    • mountain mama

      February 26, 2014 at 4:43 pm

      Hi Karen. Thank you. IDK of any events planned for Ayla’s birthday. IDK if family may be planning something or not but I’ll try to find out.

  10. Lee

    February 26, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    Thanks for the fine post Dee.

  11. Chicky

    February 26, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    That you Dee for the post. There at times when we all get discouraged anf your post gave me a lift!

    • Lee

      February 26, 2014 at 7:04 pm

      Me too.

    • Chicky

      February 26, 2014 at 7:13 pm

      Oh Lord I should check my typing!! Lets try again.

      Thank you Dee for the post. There are times when we all get discouraged and your post gave me a lift !

  12. Dana B.

    February 26, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    I look at cases like the Boston Marathon bomber They have them on video placing the bombs, they caught the ones doing it. Yet no trial no one speaks of it until you read the guys name in the paper. Then it isn’t thought about until it is mentioned in the media again.

    Unless you had someone you knew that was there when it happened, or you know someone hurt, you sort of don’t think about it. Those people that had someone there I would dare say think about it all the time.

    I don’t want to forget about Ayla, or only want people to think of her when mentioned in the media. She pulled at my heart and like I said before gave me a pulse. If we have a pulse we have a purpose and that is to keep her name out there. Whoever caused her to go missing know we will not stop talking and seeking Justice for Ayla.

    We also need to keep searching, I think that is the greatest pressure we can apply is to keep urging authorities to search for Ayla.

    • Lee

      February 26, 2014 at 8:59 pm

      Hi Dana.

      What do you think of the idea mentioned of raising money to hire a private investigator? If we can get someone to administer the project that is neutral, and the understanding being that the chips fall where they may. Perhaps this would be of more benefit than hiring search teams. In thought, this would work for a live Ayla as well as the other option.

      • Dana B.

        February 26, 2014 at 9:39 pm

        mountain mama
        February 23, 2014 at 11:00 pm

        Sometimes people will talk to a PI before they would talk to LE. For those who question LE’s competence or possible corruption (not me), this would possibly eliminate or verify their concerns. Also, new eyes are always good too.

        i think the idea has merit and is worth exploring. I don’t personally know any PI’s in Maine but they must have some. Didn’t someone say Di Pietro’s may have hired one at some point. I don’t know if it is true or not.

      • Dana B.

        February 26, 2014 at 9:49 pm

        I looked at a few this one did list looking for missing persons. I didn’t see any saying anything about looking into possible death cases.

      • mountain mama

        February 26, 2014 at 9:53 pm

        Dana I think in almost all missing person cases there is a possibility the person is deceased. It’s possible the PI’s take that into consideration in all their cases.

    • Chicky

      February 26, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      Dana says,,,,”We also need to keep searching, I think that is the greatest pressure we can apply is to keep urging authorities to search for Ayla.”

      I agree.

      • mountain mama

        February 26, 2014 at 9:54 pm

        I agree with both of you, searching is very important.

  13. Karen

    February 26, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    Perhaps a keeping children safe day in honor/memory of Ayla might be something to do. Finger print kits and safety information could be handed out along with information on Ayla?

    • Chicky

      February 26, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      Wonderful idea!

    • alismom1

      February 27, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      A friend of mine belongs to the Freemasons and they do a DNA test, finger prints and have a safety day with games for the kids. Maybe an organization in the area might do them too.

      • Dee

        February 27, 2014 at 3:17 pm

        That’s a good possibility. Good idea alismom1.

  14. Karen

    February 26, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    I really thought a reward would have gotten some information. I wonder if anything has changed that would allow information to now come out.
    I am amazed that no one has come forward with any information(that we know about anyway) in all the time that has passed.

  15. mountain mama

    February 26, 2014 at 9:38 pm

    Chicky and Karen you both have great ideas. I’m still thinking…

  16. Karen

    February 26, 2014 at 10:08 pm

    OT. I was reading at another site about the 911 calls. Someone commented on Justin stating Ayla could not get out of her crib.
    Do we know where she supposedly slept that night? I remember people talking about many different rooms she could have been in.

    • mountain mama

      February 26, 2014 at 10:18 pm

      It’s hard to know for sure Karen. It sounds like it was eventually determined that supposedly Ayla was sleeping in the room she and Gabby shared but Gabby slept with Elisha in Elisha’s room that night. It’s been said that Ayla had a toddler bed, not a crib but IDK if that’s correct. If so, it makes no sense since Ayla shouldn’t have had a problem getting out of a toddler bed.

      • Questions

        February 27, 2014 at 1:05 am

        I don’t think Justin actually used the word crib… I think he may have been refering more to not being able to get out in genetal. It’s also been said that the bedroom door was diffivult to open. Or also refering to naby gates? It has been said they used gates in their house. Just a few ideas…

      • Dee

        February 27, 2014 at 3:23 pm

        From Nancy Grace…

        REYNOLDS: No, when she started staying with Justin, she was actually sleeping in, like, a toddler bed.

      • mountain mama

        February 27, 2014 at 3:30 pm

        In the 911 call, the dispatcher used the word crib and asked Justin if she could get out of it. His response – “C1 No, ma’am, she, there is no way she could a got, there’s no way she could.”

  17. Questions

    February 27, 2014 at 1:06 am

    Ugh… Typos *general not genetal… Geeze

    • Dee

      February 27, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Chicky – That article is outrageous. DHHS is irretrievably broken and needs reforms now before another child is hurt.

      The letter reminded Cheryl and Daniel Dubois that “hitting children in the mouth,” “slapping,” “slamming them on the floor” “pushing a child’s face into a mat,” force-feeding children and other acts violated licensing standards.

      The fact that these caregivers had to be reminded that these acts are not acceptable is bad enough. But that DHHS thought that just reminding them was sufficient is completely unacceptable. Their license should have been yanked then and there.

    • mountain mama

      February 27, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      Thank you Chicky. In reading this and the other case involving alleged bullying in the DHHS system, it makes me question if KS was bullied by a higher up to give into Phoebe’s demands. Possibly why she mentioned different things in her files showing she tried to tell Phoebe no before going along with her.

      • Chicky

        February 27, 2014 at 6:47 pm

        I think KS screwed up all on her own.She was not following the guidelines. Maybe she never bothered to read the handbook.

    • 321

      February 27, 2014 at 2:44 pm

      Thank you Chicky for sharing this.

      I have reported horrendous conditions of where a child is living and the alcoholic mother a few times over the years. Her mother was very skinny from being an alcoholic, The little girl is still there. I heard from a neighbor that the mother was so drunk one mourning that she literally crawl out of the house down a few steps to a box of food delivered by the food pantry. She took out a box of cereal and crawled back into the house.
      Several of us in the neighborhood have called DHHS over the years .DHHS has done nothing to change the little girls enviroment.. It is very sad.

      It is sad that Maine does not have enough case workers. the closest one to here is 49 miles away in this county


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