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Monthly Archives: August 2014

Vengeance, Revenge or Justice?

Trista madThis post isn’t meant to condemn or defend Trista, I’m just sharing some random thoughts I’ve had during the last two and a half years since Ayla was reported missing. Does Trista want justice or does Trista want vengeance or revenge?

From the beginning it seemed that Trista was angry in almost every interview. The majority of the time the anger was directed at Justin but occasionally DHHS, LE and the AG were also her targets. Most recently Phoebe, Elisha and Courtney also became fair game. Who in Trista’s shoes wouldn’t be angry though?

At times I’ve wondered why Trista didn’t try to get donations for a certified S&R team to come in and search for Ayla. Why not try to get donations to hire a PI? Why always focused on suing so and so or petitions and protests for arrests? Why be willing to settle for lesser charges with smaller penalties if she truly wants justice for Ayla?

While Trista has had every right to be angry, I began to wonder if Trista was more focused on revenge than getting true justice.

Definition of vengeance
ven·geance
noun \ˈven-jən(t)s\
: the act of doing something to hurt someone because that person did something that hurt you or someone else
Synonyms
paybackreprisalrequitalretaliationretributionrevenge

Definition of revenge
revenge
noun
: the act of doing something to hurt someone because that person did something that hurt you
Synonyms
paybackreprisalrequitalretaliationretribution,vengeance

Definition of justice
jus·tice
noun \ˈjəs-təs\
: the process or result of using laws to fairly judge and punish crimes and criminals
Synonyms
equityfair shakeright

There’s one thing no one can argue with. WheneverAylaWalk0715E-600x421 possible Trista has kept her daughter’s name and face in the media. Whether we agree with her purpose or tactics, Ayla has been in the spotlight many, many times thanks to Trista. LE hasn’t kept Ayla in the media. They won’t even request an age progression photo which would splash Ayla’s face and case all over the MSM and social media. What has the paternal family done in the last two years to keep Ayla’s case from becoming a cold case? What have they done to keep Ayla’s face out there? They even removed the sign from their yard with Ayla’s face on it.

There are numerous chores on our farm this time of the year. The same chores we’ve been doing for twenty plus years. It’s like riding a bike, once you’ve done it, your body goes through the motions automatically and your mind tends to wander. While choring recently I went back to the times when my boys were younger.

I thought about the times my oldest would wait at the door for hours when their dad was supposed to pick them up for visitation. There was no keeping him away from that door for more than a minute because he was so sure his Daddy would be there “any time now”. Eventually he would fall asleep curled up on the floor by the door. My heart would break for him each and every time. There was nothing I wanted more than to beat the hell out of his dad at those times.

Then there was the time when my oldest was at his desk in the classroom and a boy, on his way to the pencil sharpener slammed my son’s head into his desk for no reason other than he thought “it would be funny”.  I wanted to thump that boy’s head a time or two on his desk but instead I took my son to the hospital for stitches and a concussion.

After twenty fours of checking my oldest every hour for complications from the concussion, my youngest came home from school vomiting, staggering, slurred speech and not making any sense at all. After several attempts to find out what happened, he finally told me he had been running in the gym, couldn’t stop and rammed into the concrete wall. I was livid! Why hadn’t the school called me? Why hadn’t the Phys Ed teacher taken him to the office? What the heck? I wanted to slam that teacher’s head into the concrete wall a few times but instead I was back in the ER with my youngest who (you guessed it) was suffering from a concussion.

There were other times when my boys were hurt either physically or emotionally but I won’t bore you with them. The point I’m trying to make is that we “moms” get thoroughly irate when someone hurts one of our kids. Our first instinct is to help our kids whether that involves a band aid, ER visit or merely a hug.

This instinct overrides our “Mama Bear” mode and we usually have calmed down to some degree by the time the “hurt” has been fixed. What happens to the “Mama Bear” mode if the hurt can’t be tended to? Isn’t this what Trista is dealing with?

There were times when Trista or her family suspected Ayla was abused when she was with Justin, whether on a visit or after she was living in his mother’s house. Ayla couldn’t tell her mom what really happened so Trista had only Justin’s word on what took place. Even when reports were made of their suspicions to DHHS, nothing was done. Wouldn’t this lead Trista to believe that the suspicions were unfounded? We know that Trista’s family didn’t think fondly of Justin. Did the combination of Justin’s explanations, Trista’s knowledge of her family’s attitude toward Justin and DHHS’ lack of action convince her that Ayla was safe with Justin? After all how many people today, almost three years after Ayla’s blood was found in Justin’s bedroom, still think Ayla was never abused by Justin? Yet some of these same people condemn Trista and her family for leaving Ayla with Justin.

The problem back then is the same problem LE has now. Those who witnessed or have knowledge of what happened aren’t talking. The difference for Trista now is that she has the word of MSP who have investigated Ayla’s case extensively. It’s no longer just Justin’s word or her and her family’s suspicions. MSP has said that Ayla was not abducted, her blood was found in Justin’s basement bedroom and they think Ayla is dead.

I think Trista is stuck in “Mama Bear” mode and I can’t blame her. Can you?

trista

 Maine State Police Tip Line  –   207-624-7076

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Posted by on August 28, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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